By way of explanation 'cuz ya really gotta know I have absolutely no idea where it started so I jumped a zep, crossed the pond, heard about your chappin’ Hello UK, got lots to say so let’s start rappin’ (Let’s see now, there’s chap rap, chap hop, OOH and steampunkFunk, it simple) Simple rhymes simple pleasures order of the day Professor's got a word for it, it's not feng shuei Fighting in your trousers, drinking dark brown joy Elemental's pleasures are for the hoi poloy (spoken: but he does have the word for it…supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, right? Wrong! Oh, come on… I’m only joshing… after all, he IS my role model… More tea? Have a scone… they are sooooooo nasty! Elemental pleasures were the thing to do Boxing is so commonplace, not for me and you There's no joy in Middle Class, only just the bunk Lets add a joy to Middle Class, lets add FUNK Mr. B, I hoped you’d show me cricket, BALDERDASH The only thing I saw good sir you peddling your arss Your cycling down the streets of Surrey, I was totally aghast! SteampunkFUNK can offer more if you add funky brass. HIT IT. (chorus) Mr. B, Professor E, I’m LMJ3 CHEERS! Chap rap, chap hop, now SteampunkFUNK There’s room for all, no tears. The usurper from the colonies has come to take his chance. It’s all in fun, I mean no harm, lets do a funky dance…LADIES Shake your bodice and your bustle, snap your corset stays You can get 3 pleasures now , hop, rap and funky ways (maybe even 4 pleasures) Shake your bodice and your bustle now its time to funk We can dance all night together you can touch my junk (repeat chorus) Shake your bodice and your bustle pick that bass guitar Add kick drum and funky brass, it's Steampunk Funk Bizarre! But of course!

Edison worked his staff, a man beyond his prime Tesla, forward thinker, a man before his time. Did you know that Tesla worked for Thomas Alva E. Who took advantage of his staff, you just wait and see. 28 years old in ’84, Tesla’s working hard. Edison’s DC currant won’t go farther than the yard. Tesla creates AC currant and within the hour Edison claims it dangerous, it uses too much power! Edison said: TESLA, you’re AC’s much too strong. Tesla said: EDISON, you’re DC, it’s all wrong! Edison said: TESLA, it was just a joke! Tesla said to EDISON: because of you I’m broke! Then Edison said to TESLA: Don’t stand there and grouse. Tesla said to Edison: I’ll work for Westinghouse. Edison said to Tesla: You’re a geek who’s grapes’ gone sour. Tesla said back to Edison: I’m gonna build myself a tower! Marconi claims my radio, Roentgen my x-rays MY florescent tubes, they work, for those you’re going to pay Radio control on boats, neon signs they’re mine And radar, that’s another thing, it’s so very fine To see the enemy without eyes, you cannot conceive Of half the things inside my head, you would not believe! EDISON said Tesla: I’ll block your every move! TESLA, said Edison: You’re going to have to prove That your designs are strictly yours, from no one else’s brain. And that you cannot do, you simp, and so you will refrain From all your nasty little tricks to stop me, I emplore. (Tesla said) You pimp yourself, your staff, your friends, Old Man, I’m not your whore! Edison worked his staff, he has a place in time. Tesla on the other hand has been much maligned. Tesla or Edison, the story’s old and dried. Edison or Tesla? HA, you decide!

LORD HENRY STEPS OUT It's sad to think but there's no doubt that genius lasts in beauty And that accounts for the fact that we will take great pains To over-educate ourselves in a struggle for existence. We want something that endures and so we fill our minds With rubbish and facts in a silly hope of keeping our place. But the mind of a thoroughly well informed man Can be such a dreadful thing. A dreadful thing for sure. The bravest man amongst us is most afraid of himself. It is tragic survival in self denial that mars our very lives. Every impulse we attempt to strangle broods within our minds. The body sins to purify, then nothing else remains but the Recollection of a pleasure or the luxury of regret. The only way to rid yourself of temptation Is to GIVE IN..GIVE IN TO YOUR DESIRES. So YIELD to temptation lest your soul grow sick and weak With the longing for the things it has been forbidden for so long. Desire for what is monstrous that laws have made unlawful With thoughts that fill you with terror and stain your cheeks with shame. (music/lyrics © Xerxes Praetorius Horde/New Jacobin Club: all rights reserved)

My Smile I've got nothing left to hide In your ignorance I take my pride Because when I smile I never lie And I smile as I watch you cry My friend until the end In you, it should be no surprise That when I smile I never lie And I smile as I watch you die I've got nothing left to say My whole damn life's been blown away Because when I smile I never lie And I smile as I watch you cry Watch you cry Watch you die

I’m inclined to go for an evening constitution on a regular basis. My nocturnal lifestyle is such that I don’t get enough exercise And I often force myself to indulge in the beauties of the city Color… the color one sees when looking through inky blackness Light…gives cause to look at the shadows in the coming dawn with relief. It’s not often that I get a moment or a chance To walk cobblestones so clean. I’m not much of the outdoor type, as you can readily see. Midnight walks through darkened streets, Down West End avenues, soiled doves walk everywhere, They haven’t got a clue. I smile and I nod “hello” to ladies passing by They smile back and hesitate; I’m forced to wonder why… Color… white! First Holy Communion, wedding gowns, pale skin… Light. Ha! Light… that will happen soon enough, but first I must indulge… Lovely ladies of the night, beware who goes about you Know you your time is very short My lust is for your worthless lives, the Advisor will report That in the light of breaking day, a hapless corpse was found In less than pretty perfect shape, lying on the ground. COLOR! There is no color lest you talk about the red of the cobblestones. LIGHT! Very early morning light, a sight that they will never see. Mary Nichols, Annie Chapmann, Katherine Eddowes, Mary Kelly, Elizabeth Stride, victims so it goes. Alarms will ring, suspects brought in, questions asked in vane White Chapel’s not the place to be The Ripper’s struck again. Lyrics © LMJ3/Steampunkfunk Bizarre

Merde! Mon Dieu! Absinthe! Sacrebleu! (X 4) Diamond dogs! Lecherous men! Crime rates spiral up without controls Physical ills, social blights rock us to the bottom of our souls There is a cause as we all know, soaking into image ridden brains Psychotic visions, bursts of light~we've GOT to know, I ask you Who's to blame? what is this curse that is so foul, causing minds to wither and decay She looks so pretty... innocent... Its that evil vicious bitch That little green fée Merde! Mon Dieu! Absinthe! Sacrebleu! (X 4) Luminaries of the day inside the Moulin Rouge Dripping water, sugar cubes, looking for the louche Brilliant men their minds obsessed with creative thought Here's the names and you'll see That absinthe's not for naught Oscar Wilde and Van Gogh, Manet, Edgar Allen Poe Arthur Rimbaud, Hemmingway Bohemia is on display Jules Verne, LaTrec Talouse Picture that!! No thoughts obtuse Paul Gauguin, Edgar Degas Artists painting near and far They had style, no disgrace Creative minds all in their place Pablo, Charles, n'est pas c'est tout? Eric Satie, nous aimons vous Gentlemen with wormwood minds Brilliant in their thought designs What shall we do? Fée verte's no rogue LETS GO FOR DRINKS! Absinthe is VOGUE! Merde! Mon Dieu! Absinthe! Sacrebleu! (X 4)